I need a new car

Dear husband, this is NOT a hint. You can always buy the lower model, spray it white and add a spoiler, change the stickers and all.

Then we sell the house!

Popquiz: why does my husband know when the car sounds funny and needs attention...but can't seem to tell when I need attention? It's called the power of selective hearing.

Benny Hinn : The Good, Bad and Ugly

On Saturday night, I had the opportunity to attend the Benny Hinn Miracle Healing Service at Expo. Having read Hinn’s “Welcome Holy Spirit”, I was excited to experience what God had groomed this evangelist for the Ministry of the Holy Spirit.

The good?

The power of the Holy Spirit was present in the Hall. Tears streaming down my face, I felt strongly the presence of the Holy One. And for Hinn, he didn’t take credit for this, he was humble to acknowledge the power of the Holy Ghost. Thousands went for the altar call to be saved. We judge not by what evangelists do or say; we judge by their fruits. People stood up from wheelchairs, removed crutches, threw away hearing aids…some completely healed, some on their road to recovery.

The bad?

A highly controversial message about tithing. Yes, people should be challenged to tithe by faith and according to what they believe God puts in their hearts. But seriously, why challenge people to give US$1000 in one offering? At the same time, why say “Within 7 days, God will break your debt, God will give back to you more than you can imagine.” Why limit God to 7 days? Why make God sound like an ATM machine? I don’t blame anyone for saying Hinn is into prosperity teaching. It’s just too weird to be hearing this if I’m a new Christian!

The Ugly?

The crowd at Expo was uncivilized. Makes me think I got back into China again. From the MRT to the expo hall, I can’t believe Christians have no manners. Look, there are 30,000 people crammed into 4 huge halls. Give way lah. It’s not like you will DIE doing so. In entering the MRT, some shouted “CHONG AH!”, pushing and shoving their way into the train. When youngsters get into the train, they run to the chairs and pretend to fall asleep, ignoring the old folks who need the seats more than they do. They even run to the priority seats and do the same-even if the seats are marked out for the handicapped/elderly. If Christians are like this, I don’t ever want to be called a Christian. Gracious living? What a joke!

I don’t know what is happening to Christians of this world. If this was the first time I came to this conference, I wouldn’t want to become a Christian. We lead by example and our fruits.

I know people are hungry for the touch of God. I know God wants to bless and to heal. I know that God is good all the time. But many Christians – God’s ambassadors - are doing a terrible job.

I hope that by the grace of God, more will come to know of this good God who takes care of us. That this God cannot be limited even on a corrupt generation. A God that can touch lives that are hungry for Him.

For me?

No more crowded conferences like this. They take a toll on my mental well-being and threaten to destroy my rose-tinted glasses. I’m going to keep my optimism up and continue to look on the bright side of the human race.

We as Christians are still corrupt and are all still on the way to being more gracious. That’s why we need God more.

Schedule for delivery

Hello I'm back. Latest update : C-section scheduled on 9 Dec 2008. That is if all goes well and I don't go into spontaneous labour at anytime.

The chain of events as scheduled by Doctor:
5th Dec 2008 (Fri) - Afternoon, 1st steroid injection to boost baby's lung development.
6th Dec 2008 (Sat) - Morning, 2nd steroid injection to boost baby's lung development.
8th Dec 2008 (Mon) - Morning, check into hospital to arrange for C-section and for operating theatre to be set up with specialists on-site.
9th Dec 2008 (Tue) - Baby's delivery

Some of mother's friends have told me the steroid jabs are painful and cause bruises on the bum. But let's not think about that now. And of course horrible stories of Caesarean sections. Aiyah, bo pian mah. Ma says she has a great threshold of pain and has never used drugs for delivery (what the!!). Let's hope i'm at least somewhat similar. However, i have an EXTREME FEAR of needles.

My stomach is the size of a basketball, having put on 14+ kilos to date. The walk up along the stairs to our 4-storey apartment now requires 1 stop before i get to the front door.

The complaints are common: swollen ankles, tiredness, reflux! And a sweet tooth for everything fattening. Oh no.

But enough of complaining lah. I'm glad everything is normal, I'm still able to be mobile and walking around, sleep like a piglet. And husband came down for 1 day! We had great fun just hanging out. And him feeling Baby's karate chops and crazy kicks at night.

So doc only wants to see me fortnightly and he's happy with the progress..that's good. By the time I deliver i will be at 39 weeks... ya and hopefully by then the renovation to the foodcourt at KK Hospital is complete and can enjoy nice hawker food there again...

So anytime now...

Job 28

20 "Where then does wisdom come from?
Where does understanding dwell?

21 It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing,
concealed even from the birds of the air.

22 Destruction and Death say,
'Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.'

23 God understands the way to it
and he alone knows where it dwells,

24 for he views the ends of the earth
and sees everything under the heavens.

25 When he established the force of the wind
and measured out the waters,

26 when he made a decree for the rain
and a path for the thunderstorm,

27 then he looked at wisdom and appraised it;
he confirmed it and tested it.

28 And he said to man,
'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom,
and to shun evil is understanding.' "


Dear friends and family,

I start off this letter with the verses above because I believe we can confidently walk with Him who is wise and knows all things. We worship God simply because He is God and not for what he provides. To accord Him the glory is more important than wishing for anything.

Praise God today the ultrasound scan was all normal! Doctors have reduced the ultrasound scans from weekly to fortnightly! We give God all the glory and honour because without Him, last week would have been tough to get through. So thank you for all your prayers and encouragement that has been flooding through our mailboxes. I’m sorry if I haven’t got to some of you yet – I will do my best to reply!

Today, I don’t want to talk about the baby. Instead, here’s what I learned from the book of Job over the past 2 days. If you are interested, read on!

Best friend June invited me to 2 evenings on expositions from the book of Job under Project Timothy at ORPC (Orchard Rd Presbyterian church). I love the answers presented by Christopher Ash, Director of the Cornhill Training Centre, UK.

1. Does Jesus want you to be rich (and healthy, successful and powerful)?

- Most certainly, but probably NOT YET. In this world, yours and my faith will be tested, and refined like gold. Our reward is certainly in heaven.

2. The mark of a true believer : Everything is stripped away but still trusts in God.

3. A believer can be terribly alone in suffering because only he/she knows what it feels like.

4. The search for wisdom is costly because this is a valuable and inaccessible object. So stop looking for it with our limited human minds. Instead we must confidently walk with Him who knows all things; thus we will be wise.

5. God is God. We are not. God is all-mighty; he did everything in creation, controls the wild animals and beasts. We are unworthy to question Him.

6. So our sovereign faithfulness should be to God; even in our darkest moments. Likewise, we cannot deal and overcome evil in this world alone, we need God.

7. UNDESERVED suffering DOES exist. Of course, sometimes we suffer the consequences of our own sin, thus we search our hearts to see where suffering comes from. However, Christianity is not about ‘karma’ – ie. Suffering happens to bad people (that’s what Job’s friends said). Just remember our reward is in heaven.

Correct me if I'm wrong, for I know this is all rather simplistic and you’ll probably have many questions and bombard me with different levels of argument. Despite this, I want to let you know I found comfort in the reminder that God knows all things and sometimes things don’t work out the way we plan it to.
I leave here with a hymn that touched me yesterday, for I know that God is with us.

It Is Well with My Soul

1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

when sorrows like sea billows roll;

whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Refrain:

It is well with my soul,

it is well, it is well with my soul.



2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

let this blest assurance control,

that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

and hath shed his own blood for my soul.

(Refrain)



3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part but the whole,

is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

(Refrain)



4. And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,

the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,

even so, it is well with my soul.

(Refrain)



With love,

Marcus and Charlene

taking things in perspective

I've posted 3 letters to all of you that were sent out recently. It's for all to view and pass it on to encourage your friends.

There are up and down days. Down when I get hit with unfavourable news - after a good cry, God puts my mind to rest. We humans are resilient and bounce back quite easily. I'm not going to lie and say that it's all a bed of roses or that I'm super-happy.

Praise God for friends like you who treat me like family. I'm so grateful that you all support us all the way, pray and encourage us no matter what.

In all my life I've not been lacking in love department and I count myself blessed! There are millions of things to be grateful for and I don't want to dwell on the nasties because God has his plan in all things.

I've realised some things:
1. It's ok to grieve. Just place urself in God's arms, get up and walk again.
2. It's ok to ask for the priority seat in the MRT; even when students pretend to be sleeping on it(becoz now i look heavily pregnant). Just smile gratefully after they get up and say 'thank u very much'.
3. It's ok to tell people you're lonely.
4. It's ok to tell God you're sad.
5. My job is to let others know that God is good, all the time.
6. God has his perfect timing - in all things and don't forget that. In the grand scheme of things, our suffering is so transient, so insignificant. So put our trust in Him.
7. Don't let fear drive us to do silly things. But let perfect love motivate us to do even better things.

So let me stop procrastinating about things. I dedicate this time to honing my writing again and falling in love with my first love - reading.

baby's development part 3-17 oct 08

“My grace is sufficient for your, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor 9.

“For you created my innermost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Ps139: 13-16

Dear friends & family

Thank you for your prayers and concern. We really appreciate your petitions to our Father, our all-powerful God. Marcus and I know that He who has brought us this child will continue to carry his work to completion!

The diagnostic during my ultrasound scan yesterday was not too positive. The sonographer took an awful long time – in silence – to take photographs and write the report. My mother and I proceeded to the counseling room where we spoke to another doctor. Doctor said the baby’s heart had water around it possibly due to the stomach pushing upwards, causing pressure in the chest area where the heart is located. She wanted me to come back for weekly ultrasounds from now on; and keep monitoring progress.

We also had an appointment with the warm and friendly neo-natal specialist, Dr Bhavani. She explained that after delivery, specialists would stabilize the baby’s heart & breathing for 5-7 days before surgery. So far, the hospital has not lost any babies AFTER surgery – that was great news. The crucial period, however, was the 5-7 days after delivery where the baby would be in NICU, hooked up to machines and administered medication to aid breathing.

The baby probably will need to stay in hospital 4-6 weeks after delivery. After being stable for 2-3 months, scheduled check-ups will be arranged. Post-surgery, the lungs should be fully functional a year after, as lung tissue develops very well. In the first year, it is expected that the baby may be in and out of hospital for respiratory conditions / infections.

Right now, the baby’s condition:

1. Left sided diaphragmatic hernia where the bowels are pushed to the chest area.

2. The stomach has pushed the heart to the right, which would possibly strain the heart muscles and restrict blood flow during development.

3. Left lung growth OK. Right lung tissue underdeveloped as squeezed to the right by the heart. The baby’s lungs form last during development and lungs are used only when baby emerges from the womb. Therefore doctors are unable to ascertain the extent to which the lungs are working.

To pray for:

1. Full-term delivery. Ie. Delivery after 34 weeks would be best because a term baby would be more stable than a premature one. We pray that the situation will improve from now on so as the baby will be able to be well.

2. A positive mindset, looking to God because He is our creator. He has supplied us with the grace to overcome all things.

3. Wisdom by doctors, sound advice and the ability to know when to take action, if necessary.

In the meantime, we place our trust in our God; for He has great plans for this STAR that shines brightly for Him. Esther of the bible had all odds stacked against her but yet she overcame all things – although this baby’s struggle started earlier, we are sure she will overcome everything to emerge victorious!

Praise God that He has arranged for things to be well so far and placed baby’s case in the right hands of experienced doctors and surgeons.

I will be in Singapore from now until delivery because doctors have advised me to be near the hospital in case of an emergency.

God bless you all,

Charlene and Marcus

baby's development - part 2-30 sep 08

ear friends,

thanks for all your concern and prayers. We certainly see God's hand in everything these 2 days.

Just to update, we have decided to deliver the baby in KKH in singapore. Docs have recommended to deliver at term - or near term as possible. Unless the baby suffers distress and needs to come out earlier. That is why I will need to be here from 16 October until delivery. They don't want me to be too far from the hospital in case of an emergency.

For now, I am in Singapore and will return to KL only on 4th or 5th Oct as I have another appointment with the Dr.

Monday - saw Dr Tan who arranged an immediate ultrasound. Didn't wait long! Sonographer said come back next day at 9.30am when the senior director & team comes to view complicated cases.

Tuesday - went for ultrasound again. A/Prof George Yeo was at the ultrasound confirming where all the baby's organs were. Straight afterward, proceeded to the counselling room where 2 docs talked me through and advised me that I need to come back to see the baby doc & surgeon. Set a date for further ultrasound and appointments with baby surgeon. Senior director talked us through the technicalities of the case.

They all advised me to come back every 2 weeks for monitoring and be nearby in case of emergency. Cost-wise they advised me to refer to my first dr to find how to obtain subsidies when I deliver.

The cost of neo-natal care may rack up a high bill. We will need to find out more how to get subsidies. Anyway neo-natal care does not have different classes (subsidised vs private class) so it doesn't matter anyway.

Praise God for:
1. Cutting all lines, getting immediate priority and treatment! Eg. see doctor on monday morning, ultrasound immediate (usually got to set another date !), see Sr Director immediately next morning.

2. Immediately setting up of appointment with priority on the dates for both baby doc and surgeon on the next date of ultrasound (16 Oct).

We were highly impressed with the speedy service and priority given. It is so difficult to skip the long lines at the hospital.

3. Oh yah, after half a day with consultation with 3 docs+ultrasoundx2 today, it was FOC. Of course i paid on the first day lah- but not as much as I would in KL at a private hospital.

Things to pray for:

1. to find out the best way to get subsidised rates on delivery & neo-natal care. NICU (neonatal icu) prices are high, paediatric dr & surgeon bills may go up the roof. The system to get subsidised rates is pretty strict.

-I need to report first to a govt clinic, then wait in line for a panel dr at the hospital, then get referred to the same specialist doctors. I can't downgrade from within the hospital system since now I am a private patient (had to pay private rates to cut all the lines to the experts). Cos i need to show that my whole immediate family earns less than $3200/mth! Unfortunately my father still works!

2. That the baby will turn out fine. The right lung is compressed near the heart. we need to gauge the development of heart and lungs. Heart failure is the worst thing that can happen because of the pressure of all the organs growing within the baby's chest.

3. Wisdom and guidance for all the drs to give good advice and look into the case.

Other than that, marcus and I heave a sigh of relief. It's good to know that the doctors have the experience and are able to assure me the next course of action. It's all in God's hands now.

God bless
Charlene

baby's development Part 1 - 27 sep 08

Dear friends,

Thanks for all your concern and encouragement.

I just wanted to share how God is so good all the time! That even in times of difficulty we need to praise God because he always makes a way and is faithful throughout. God has rescued me and made ways for me - and I KNOW FOR SURE He will continue to show me the way.

I'll tell you the sequence of events and you will see God's hand:

- 6 weeks ago i went for a 3D & 4D detailed scan and my dr, Wong Sum Keong, saw that the baby's stomach was in its chest cavity, above the diaphragm. He said we need to wait and see development of the baby's lungs and whether this will present breathing difficulties upon birth. However we can only find out this upon the baby's delivery because currently the baby doesn't need to breathe. The term is called CONGENITAL DIAPHRAGM HERNIA. A check on the internet reveals a lot about babies having this in America. 1 in 30,000.
I said I'll pray and wait for the 2nd scan.

- 2nd detail scan was on Monday evening with Dr Wong. He said he definitely wants to get a 2nd opinion from his colleague and referred me to a Dr Patrick Chia, specialising in fetal abnormalities.

- I secured an appointment with Dr Chia on Friday. He was detailed in his scanning and saw these cases before. He referred me to Universiti Hospital Dr Sofiah S- (forgot), who has handled many cases like these.

- Dr Chia was so good, he called Dr Sofiah and Dr Wong straightaway! Dr Chia secured an appt with Dr Sofiah. Unfortunately she is on holiday (Hari Raya) and will return mid-Oct. Dr Chia wrote all the referral letters to pass to the doctors.

- Dr Chia was knowledgeable and patient and recommended the government hospital because he said private hospitals don't have the facilities to deal with complicated cases. He checked and saw that this was a favourable case:
1. The lungs were forming very well
2. The liver is in the right place - if not, this would be a major concern
3. The heart was fully formed and pumping well, only thing was it was displaced to the side a bit
A check on the internet revealed that these indicate the baby is the highest 25% for CDH cases. The baby will definitely do well.

- Dr Chia's recommendations:
1. Do a C-section nearer the date. This is to assemble the team of specialists on standby to check and take over should the baby require immediate surgery.
2. I will definitely pay a private hospital price in KL. Check if I am able to get a subsidised price in Singapore. Depending on the neo-natal care in ICU later, I will need to find out more.
3. He said go to A/Prof George Yeo and team at KK hospital (Singapore) to see if I can do something or arrange baby's delivery there.
4. Increase the frequency of monitoring for the baby to every 2-3 weeks.

- Called up KK hospital immediately for appointment ( Got the number from Gideon & june). Dr George Yeo does not see patients anymore, I asked for the most senior in his team, Dr KH Tan. Dr Tan's next avail appointment is 20 Oct.

- Went back to office and emailed central appointments of KK hospital, requesting for an earlier appointment. Central appointments emailed me immediately and said OK, giving me 5 dates. I chose the earliest, Monday 29-09-08 morning 9am.

- Getting a bus ticket was challenging. However it was very fast. You see, it's Hari Raya major holidays in Msia- (this weekend until weekend all fully booked!). Singapore f1 night race is on tonight and sunday night. But we got tickets! Bus leaves from right in front our house in Mont' Kiara.

- My father will pick us up from Corpthorne Orchid Dunearn Rd (Singapore) tomorrow night at 8pm. We will leave back to KL Monday at 5pm. We try to avoid the traffic this way.

We simply cannot ignore the signs that God will continue to guide and lead. Here's why:

1. We have chosen the name Estelle for the baby. God has assured me she'll be his bright shining star and totally approves of the name (meaning of esther from the bible). Queen Esther was made for "such a time as this". I'm not kidding - God really did speak to me 3 Sundays ago. I got confirmation from my father-in-law who said God spoke to him about the name esther (while in bed!).

2. Most people see several doctors before they are given a solution.

God has brought favour and me to the right people at the right time. I got the right knowledgeable doctors who continue to help me all the way.

3. KK hospital was very efficient in changing my appointment! Not only that, Dr KH Tan is one of the top shots in KK. I better give this a good try.

4. My case shows signs of being favourable. This is an assurance that everything will be fine in the end. God has told me that all will be well. It's just the meantime that we need to work things out.

5. Bus tickets are impossible to get at this time. God made it possible!

6. Our friends in church have emailed some staff in Universiti Hospital here and will continue to pester for some queue jumping...

7. we are able to detect early this condition and are able to plan ahead for the next step.

So in the meantime, I appreciate your prayers to get the right doctors who will advise wisely on the next course of action.

I believe that God has given us the means to take care of this baby. Financially, spiritually, emotionally.

I will also appreciate if we all refrain from unnecessary worry and negative thoughts because this simply would not help the matter. God is always bigger than any problem. If not for God, Marcus and I would be freaking out by now.

God bless
Charlene

Music & Lyrics

I’m a lyric-phile. I'm totally in love lyrics and want to share one of my all-time favourites. Old and lovely but true.

Don Henley – The Heart of the Matter.

I got the call today, I didn’t wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talking on the phone
She said you’d found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you.
What are these voices outside love’s open door
Make us throw off our contentment.
And beg for something more?

I’m learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again

I’ve been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter

But I think it’s about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There’s a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?

The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They’re the very things - we kill I guess
Pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us
You know it doesn’t keep me warm

I’m learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
And the more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I’d figured out
I have to learn again

I’ve been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter

But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me anymore

There are people in your life who’ve come and gone
They let you down you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on
You keep carrying that anger; it’ll eat you up inside, baby

Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I’m thinking about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don’t love me
Forgiveness

I’m sure all of us who have been in relationships/friendships that have gone sour before can relate. I know forgiveness is the hardest part. It is however, very possible and the key to moving on. It takes time but it’s not about erasing the past…it’s about acknowledging it. So all you feeling the pain, know that it’ll dull and start being erased once we embrace….forgiveness.

Chip off the old block

I was going to blog about my favourite Bonds underwear but threw that idea out because some people have commented “TOO MUCH INFO”. So anyway today I find out Bonds underwear is AUD$8/pc, after conversion its like RM25! WHAT THE? Okay so I’m going to call mummy n ask her to buy some cos she’ll be in THE PERTH this weekend. Then we shall see if she asks for the money back. hehehe.

Today I write about potato chips in a packet. I have a theories about chips.

Theory 1: don’t buy chips until you are dying for them.

Chips are bad for you. They make you and me fat. They increase cholesterol. They are the bane of my life cos I never have a flat tummy. Nevermind that I hardly exercise. Problem is, chips taste so wonderful that when I eat one, I eat the whole packet. Big or small, the packet disappears.

Theory 2: The producers of chips pump lots of air into the chip packet. So make sure u read the grammage before you buy.

Theory 3: If you are dying already, go and buy the chips in the smallest pack. One only.

I just died and got resuscitated by my pack of Jack and Jill Spring Onion and Garlic. Now I promise I will never eat chips unless they taste great. Like those Lays and Cottage Fries.

Sigh, if you want to kill urself eating, u might as well eat the best. I should have.

Self pity is me

Was stuck in bed for the past 2 ½ days with the flu and a fluctuating fever. It’s the worst feeling when you just can’t open your eyes cos the lights kill them in agony. Doc gave me paracetamol and piriton cos he wasn’t going to prescribe a pregnant woman any medicine actually. Hiyah at least RM28 spent on consultation fees got me 2 days mc. Between sleeping and waking moments, I came to realize how boring my life without work. Is that motivation to work? Who knows.

I just grew more motivation for shopping and decaf coffee. Oh yah, food tastes better now. Yay.

why u shouldn't eat only nasi goreng

Just got back from Bali last night. We almost missed our Air Asia flight cos the check-in counter lady said her counter was closed 40min before the flight. Look, I couldn't help it, I had CONSTIPATION.

I've never been so stressed running past immigration and a cross-faced husband. Sitting on the toilet bowl in a mall yesterday, I could hear a little japanese kiddy in the next cubicle mimicking my 'ugh, urgh, urgh' sounds....or was I mimicking his? So off we went to Cold Storage to buy prunes at 10pm last night. I stuffed my face with prunes, oats, one huge orange, orange and carrot fresh juice.

I must have gone to the toilet 10 times today to try my luck. Hey! Tada! 3 days' worth of nasi goreng came out! first as raisin-sized dollops then goreng-pisang sized..what hard work...over a span of like 6 hours!!!! Ahhhh..the relief.

How to find THE ONE

Our itch to buy a new house has just hit the obsessive level. We constantly punch numbers into the calculator, racking our brains with ballpark figures overtime, hunt around for the best loan rates (according to Kelvin from CG/Alliance it’s BLR-2 if u pay all the lawyer fees and stuff yourself). The husband, who has 11 housing agents’ numbers in his trusty broken Nokia, keeps pestering them to show us the ‘new kids on the block’!

Every house is being sized up for costings for kitchen cabinets, looking for cracks in the walls, leaks in ceilings and floors, and why is the parquet popping up already? Those humongous Labradors and Alsations don’t bid well for friendly neighbours! Is there good resale value? Too many stairs for baby whose ETA is this Christmas! How many sq feet? Is the price negotiable? Which way is this facing (no lah, not feng shui), will I get the hot sun? It’s the seventh house we’ve seen in three days! Or eleventh in the past week!

We think we’ve found THE ONE. Like in marriage, we will never know who THE ONE is. It had just better be that you both make it THE ONE. There’s no magical moment, no floating into outer space…

“Do you like me?” asks the house.
“Will you promise to cherish and hold me through sickness and health till death do us part?”
No way! I will sell you as long as you make me money! Muahaha! *evil grin*

Unfortunately this house is too expensive for us now. The bank can loan us the money but after paying instalments, we’re going to have to cut back a lot! What to do? Pray we make a wise decision.

Why men never listen to their wives

Property agent called up twice to tell us she had found 2 prospective buyers for our Parkcity Condo. Buyer A wanted to bring in a renowned Feng Shui Master to check out the fengshui of the condo. Fengshui guy A was willing to offer 410K. Anyway Buyer A declined in the end. Buyer B came along and offered 398K.

Husband asked, "to sell or not to sell?".

I said, "Eh, u asked for 400K and then now u ask me whether 398K is ok? Don't be mad....sell lah!!"
In the words of our self-confessed Indian-kiamsiap Penangnite friend, Suresh, "Marcus, you don't do something stupid just for two thousand lah!"

So Mister Man sat on this for 2 days citing the Mrs's inability to agree to the price. What the?! I ALWAYS become the bad guy!

Yesterday Catherine, the property agent calls up Mr. Man. Buyer B offered 400K. Mr hesitates again and says he'll call back - saying "I need to check with my wife."

So he goes around gloating in glee that he was right to sit on his decision.

"Wah, you see, I can earn one thousand a day you know!? I should not listen to you!" In his words.

beauty and the pimple in the pits!

I was going to post last night about finding a pimple / ingrown hair in the pits of my arm but then spent the whole night plucking hair off my pits, eyebrows, moustache and squeezing blackheads. Utmost annoying. It's like finding a pimple on ur backside and feeling it whenever and everywhere!!!!

This is a strong reminder to you girls that you should never EVER shave your armpits or else those annoying pimples appear. It's just one of my quick fix-it things when i need to wear a sleeveless blouse. No matter how painful and annoying - ALWAYS PLUCK. And GUYS, you who have been led to believe that women have NO hair at these places, I'm sorry to spoil your delusion but we do.

Beauty is hard work. I mean, why cry and tear whenever you primp and pluck those eyebrows? So that other hardworking women won't look your way and go 'TSK TSK!' Frankly, the men don't care lah. They only comment when ur moustache gets too dark and then gossip to their guy friends.

How to write something inspirational

1. Get inspiration.
2. If unable to obtain number 1, try writing, re-writing, pulling hair off the crown of your head, pacing around the room, screaming and cursing the keyboard.
3. If all else fails, give up. Go and chew off the husband’s ear with stories of the day. Until he snores.

And then 2 hours have passed. Nothing inspirational yet.

Confessions of a C-raving madman

Confession: I am off to Burger King for a SwissMushroom Cheesebarger craving fix. Oh help. Tell me what to say to my mother-in-law who will 100% chide and kill me for eating rubbish. She will def ask what i ate for dinner - shall i say Hor Fun or Kway Teow Tng?

Snack of the day

Look at my unhealthy snack today - the remains of a banana choc muffin and rasberry freeze. This is called selective eating. I'm surely doomed - such expensive taste!

Time for bed. I am becoming a char-siew again.

Help! I need to eat!

Eating has suddenly begun to be an ordeal for me. I sit staring at the rice on my plate and feel more and more grossed out as I shove another bak choy into my mouth! Food just tastes bad. I went to the ob-gyn yesterday and was placed on a scale and read out "Fifty-two kg". Height in centimetres? "168". The nurse took my blood pressure and remarked, "why are you so thin?" She couldn't strap the BP canvas thingy on my arm but did after the third attempt. She gave a frown working out the BMI reading.

I don't mean to be skinny. I'm only thick at the waist (and sometimes in the brain). I seem to have reverted to my five-to-seven year old days when I fall asleep on the dinner table, with the food watching me sleep. Yesterday afternoon my good friend and I were at Alexis (ok, i skived off work again - legitimate reason k?)Bangsar and she said she wanted to try the Tiramisu. I couldn't get 2 mouthfuls in! And this is the frigging most expensive and yummy tiramisu in KL! What I DID get in, the citron presse.

I'll never be anorexic because I simply cannot stand hunger. That goes for other pain-inducing stuff like tattoos, injections and the like.

Now with this stupid BMI reading I'm needing to put on 12-16kg in this pregnancy. What the HECK? I'll bet I'll cry a lot when I have to hit the gym post-natal.

Out of the closet 2003

Salt nightclub (published in ‘veeza magazine’, Melbourne 2003)
"Wah this place opened and closed already hahahaha!"

If girls are “sugar and spice, all things nice”, what is “Salt”? It’s a place meant to neutralise the sugary cute little thingys and transform ‘em into babelicious sirens. Including me…naturally. (Okay, deny your nerdhood!)

I remember fondly the birth of Salt in February 2000. The card said “Opening Ceremony, by invitation only”. Smiling radiantly, I was proud to be an exclusive elite so donned my prettiest frock and attempted the “smoky eyes” look. That night in Salt, air pollution was at its worst. It was the “smoke gets in your eyes” look coupled with groping in the dark to get to the toilet.

Now, in its middle ages, it’s become a household name with uni-fied Asians (My lecturer says I should economise on words) . Yep, hip young Asian poseur wannabes come here for their dosage of grey smoke, the alcohol binge and throwups. Er, they don’t see it that way. They like the “music”. You know, the type mummy can’t stand that vibrates the house? Maybe that’s why it’s called “house music”?

They spin “house techno” on Fridays on the main white-tiled dancefloor. Careful about those Rapunzels (is it an Asian phenomenon to grow hair so long?) in four-inch stilettos swinging neon sticks around. If one hits your head you find your skull resonating with the boom beat. Try your hand at dancing. Imagine your palms like chicken wings on a barbecue pit; gotta keep flipping ‘em around or they’ll get burned. Kick your toe and heel around like you’re doing tap dancing in fast-forward mode. Suddenly the two-storey blue ceiling looks more interesting to me. Oh dear, I’m getting old. I have no energy to keep up.

Time to flirt with the bartender. Shucks, he’s only interested in my money. Maybe it’s the bad lighting—red light from the counter clashes with my skin tone.

I usually pay about $7 for mixers. Wanna get thrashed? Try the “graveyard”. It’s a grey emulsion of I-dunno-whats, looks like cement and smells like rotten tuna. Promise you’ll be kissing everybody and telling them you love them—in no time.

The poser has to move onto better territory. Wu Tang Clan and LLCoolJ are more my cup of tea. Ya git mah drift bruther?

Hidden in the corner is a swelteringly hot puny room with parquet flooring. Yo, did ya realise that it’s all red? Red couches, red lighting, red bar-counter, red faces from too much alcohol... Survey the smarmy guys. No, they survey me first. But they turn away quickly. Whew.

On Fridays, Salt suffers from a drought of pretty lasses. Even if your face looks like a car smashed into it, head to RNB room to get picked up!

My deal is simple. Buy me a drink and I’ll talk to you for ten minutes. Then I move on. I don’t meet guys in clubs. Oh frustration, they want to dance before a drink. I don’t know who is the loser—them or me. I have totter in my painful heels to the counter, flash my Colgate smile and wave my $20 bill at the bartender again!

They play radio-friendly rhythm and blues. None of that hard-hitting rap-spewing tuneless stuff. Some reckon it is a microphoneless karaoke session. They bellow the lyrics while gyrating their hips a la Ricki Martin. Others climb onto the stage to shake their behinds. Why not show off those glutes you spent the whole week working on?

At six am, lights flick on and everything stops.

The party atmosphere depends on the crowd. The first three weeks of the semester and the semester holidays are packed. Depending on the season, the entrance fee starts at $10. Hang your mink coat in the coatroom for $2. Spot the entrance of the club near Legends, an expansive pool and snooker hangout along Daly Street, adjoining Chapel Street. Oh yes, try not to wear jeans or sneakers on Friday—they can be prissy about dress code.

Asians also congregate here on Wednesday. The mini room plays RNB while the main floor plays Retro music. Retro means Bananarama-mama, Uptown-Girl era. But don’t come here in calf warmers or Elvis’ hair. You’ll be ostracised. By all means, wear jeans.

Writing from the dusty cupboard - circa 2004

The Idiot’s Guide to Studying. Cramming
Charlene Teo

Being a whiz at cramming hasn’t come easy. Years of self-experimentation with often -disastrous consequences have taught me much. Like the episode when I got the shakes from OD-ing on Nescafe. Or my infamous typos that have caused lecturers to conclude that I can’t write English. That’s because while some people find thrill in 3-in-a-row moviethons, I find pleasure in 3-in-a-row assignment-thons. By the third essay, sentences peter off to disconnected phrases after having achieved caffeine-induced delirium.

Since assignments and exams are necessary evils in our poor little lives, I have devised strategies to conquer them. So here I dedicate my priceless tips two types of people—the desperados and the plain lazies.

So it’s three weeks before the exams. Super-annoying classmate declares he’s finished one round of revision. Oh no, here goes the guilt trip. If you’ve got assignments, you need to start consulting lecturers NOW!

What should I ask the lecturers? Depends on what you know (or don’t). Personally, I grow another layer of skin and grin like a blithering weirdo while asking ‘seemingly’ intelligent questions. After getting incredulous looks from the tutor, you’ll probably receive a tip-off for the season.

Next, head off to the library and grab books. No, I didn’t say read them. I say bring them home to gather dust. At least you’ve got them on your shelf right? There’s nothing worse than insufficient references when that essay’s due tomorrow.

Now familiarise yourself with the functions of a photocopier. Another twenty bucks down into the copy card—and salivate over thoughts of that gourmet pizza that you’ll have to miss! Minimise your documents to save money and print more. But not too small, lest you end up with dots on paper. After this, xerox all the exam papers for the past five years. Obviously, some lecturers think students don’t notice when they recycle questions from yesteryear.

So just how do you tackle these papers? You’ll need to network. In particular, get to know three kinds of people. First, be best buds with the clever dud(e) as he/she will help you work through tough questions. Second, become tutor’s pet by periodically popping into their office armed with lollies ‘just to chat’ while sneakily digging answers from them. Lastly, let super-annoying friend know that you marvel at their intelligence. Just before entering exam hall, you can request from this friend a summary of the chapters that you forgot all about.

As you prepare for exams, you will need supplies to help you through. Stock up on the most acceptable drug on the market—caffeine. Fortunately too, there’s a delicious alternative to nutritious food: Satay flavoured Indo-Mee. You’ll also need brain food like Doritos, Mars Bars and Steak-Flavoured Chips. In addition, Gummy Worms will exercise your jaws while the rest of your body can’t afford the time to work out.

As you perform mind acrobatics in this harrowing time, you need to create the right atmosphere to absorb information. Thus, I recommend heading to the local library to mingle with permanent residents of the ‘library society’. Choose your library based on the proximity to food vending machines as well as a low level of noise. For goodness sakes’, please choose a seat that does not face the entrance of a library. For what’s the point of going there when you keep peeping over your notes to check out every cutie that walks through the door?

I dare say that grades often bear a direct relationship to the effort put into studying. And as you slap yourself for the fiftieth time for not starting to study earlier, why not look on the bright side of things. You can tell your future employer that you thrive under pressure and that you know how to manage your time well. For it’s truly marvellous how we can study four subjects in three weeks—er, make that two weeks… really.

When not writing advice columns, Charlene works hard at being idle.

Condo for sale!

Condo for sale!!! Do you want to buy Nadia Parkfront Condo 9th floor at Desa Parkcity, Bandar Menjalara, Kepong? http://www.desaparkcity.com/nadia1.htm .

Gated and guarded. Affluent neighbourhood with easy access to KL & PJ. 1184sqm. 3br,2bath. I promise you won't regret it cos it's such a beautiful place...got a market and well-established coffeeshops nearby, Secret Recipe across the road and lovely gardens all around. Only problem is that it's too far from my workplace! So am wanting to sell this investment to buy another.
We're thinking and praying very hard to buy a house in Subang cos we can't stand driving from Sri Hartamas/Mont' Kiara to Shah Alam for work and to Subang for church. It doesn't make sense! I pay RM6.60 2-ways everyday for toll.

Okay, on another note, I don't mind selling off our Leader Garden Tanjung Bungah condo in Penang too. But for that one I need to ask the hubby first. Interested? Let me know!

The beginning of new beginnings

Argh. They closed my earlier blogsite. I kinda had 2 entries in the past 3 years so that leaves me wondering why. After much ado, I have decided to attempt a blog again just because I want to be 'in' like you all people reading this site.

Yesterday I had an 'eureka' moment. At Borders bookstore, I realised if you bought the classics with the tiniest print and ugliest cover, they would most certainly be cheaper than that with the lovely legible prints and beautiful artwork on the cover. Take my purchase yesterday, Anna Karenina - I bought the RM27.90 version while there was another printed version going at $48+. The cover is ugly alright. My husband told me to stop buying books cos I finish them in a week of reading so it's a plain waste of money. Actually he should stop me from buying my monthly indulgence - Glamour UK at RM22.50. I finish the mag in 2 hours flat! So the ROI is pretty bad on the magazine. On another note, just don't buy books from Borders - u r paying a premium anyway.


Oh on an unrelated matter (they put this comment in the newspaper when they want to combine 3 to 4 articles on crime and craplikethat), I had a nice time chatting for ages at Beans cafe with the cg. Yan Ching told us not to put our handphones near our ovaries for ladies and for men, not near they u-know-whats...lest u kiss ur 'happy fathers days' goodbye. Okay, I'm off to upgrade my new lovely blog. Hope you love it.